operameister:

thisismythanksgivingurl-gobble:

agentgreenfishy:

poselikeateam:

fuck-i-just:

Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”

Why does this not have any notes?

lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”

“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”

“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”

456,093 notes

theshoutingendoflife:

jaclcfrost:

standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak like “look at this flower. this flower is taller than i am. this flower is winning and i’m losing”

Wow you are not ready to hear about trees.

114,938 notes

brokendildo:

never skip leg day

caseyanthonyofficial:

This was one of the funniest jokes in film history

anus:

coolshep.jpg

could-have-been-worse:

There are two kinds of people in the world.

dbvictoria:

Good Idea/Bad Idea - Animaniacs

Part I

Part II

Part III

Part IV

Part V

palomster:

spyyy:

reifaun:

your body is 93% stardust so dont give up little star (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

image

lmao

129,541 notes

silverrumrunner:

onlinewifey:

A coffee pot can be a coffee mug if you just don’t fucking care

image

126,999 notes